that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize