69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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