I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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