Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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