soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
