I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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