Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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