i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
