I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
