I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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