how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
