Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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