Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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