just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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