Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
