for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
