I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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