wat bout pragnant strippers??
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
