Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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