I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
