Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
