So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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