she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
