sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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