Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
