I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
