great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
