Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize