he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize