I cockslap morals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
