Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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