I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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