Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
