Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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