yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The Olympian is in my bed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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