there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
