What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Buhtt sex?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize