i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
