It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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