no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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