they need to just BURY HIM!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
