Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
