This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
