we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
