so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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