Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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