You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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