Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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