I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
