Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
