We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i out mim tonsoeep
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