Grow some girl-balls and come out already
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize