I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
