bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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