Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
