So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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