i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
